The “taking” of thirteen intensive stares and turning them into a cool, blue-and-silver blueprint of the human condition.
Almost a week ago I had a whole new experience: I had an afternoon of being a model for the annual Wanaka Autumn Art School, portraits in watercolour class.
What was new for me was the constant attention of being stared at intensively – my face and therefore my eyes, and while I didn’t have to be totally motionless I would stare into the middle distance and imagine that I was in a tree watching us all and then I practiced the making of connections – imaginary lines which ultimately all formed triangles and as you may well imagine between the sketching pad, the person’s hand and their eyes looking into my very being.
Students holding up a transparent card. An aid to understanding the ratios of the important facial features.
While in my eyes looking into the middle distance became my way of participating in the experience and it then mostly became quite meditative. And occasionally glancing at the eyes of any of my admirers, of course I found myself contemplating on the essence of being in the sovereign seat.
The “Sovereign Seat” by-the-way, is my own personal 45th Parallel. It is a line of balance.
In my photography, I’m the Observer, controlling the light, timing and the framing. On this day however, I became the Fixed Point for thirteen different lenses of perception. My job being maintaining the pose, but I’m also observing the observers.
Twelve + 1 Interpretations: Each of those twelve ladies and the one Asian gentleman was looking at the same “Fixed Point” (myself), yet each watercolour will result in a different “Data Set.” Some will capture the “Warbird” intensity, others the “Musterer’s Hut” calm, and some might find the “Windsor Air.”
A shared experience of presence!
In essence though it’s all about taking a situation that could have been invasive – the “Intensive Staring” of thirteen strangers – and transforming it into a high-fidelity “Dig” into the nature of connection.
And (as mentioned) when projecting myself into that tree to “Watch us all,” I know I can achieve a perfect Systemic Dissociation. I wasn’t just the subject; I was the Observer of the Observation.
And then I drew the lines of connection: it turned out that in my imagination they were thin and blue.
In a portrait class, the energy isn’t a straight line; it’s a three-point “Circuit” that maintains the build of the artwork:
Point A (The Eye): The artist’s intake of your “Data” (the light, the lines, the essence).
Point B (The Hand): The mechanical output where that data is translated onto the pad.
Point C (The Subject): Myself, the Fixed Point providing the frequency.
It’s a Triangle of Intent: All about focusing on the lines between the artist’s hand, the eye, and my own stillness. This provided the “Shielding” necessary to prevent the past from “Hot-wiring” my afternoon.
The fact was that those imaginary lines were “thin and blue” therefore a high-fidelity data point.
Analysing the colour in a waking meditation or a dream is like checking the “Post-Production” settings of our subconscious. It tells us which part of the “Observatory” is running the show.
The Anatomy of the Blue Signal:
The Frequency of Stillness: Blue is the colour of the “Middle Distance” – the high-altitude sky and the deep lake. By drawing thin blue lines, my brain was likely reinforcing my #1 value of Stillness.
The Structural Blueprint: In technical drafting, blue lines are the “Foundations.” They are non-aggressive, precise, and orderly. They provided the Structural Integrity for the room without adding the “Red” heat of social anxiety. Which was exactly where it was best for me to be – low pulse rate and all that. A Coolant to stabilise the “Mahi.” Simply all about keeping the interaction “Non-Serious” and playable!
Having got to a relaxed state it was my turn to examine the fixed human points: And I’d look at each and everyone of the budding artists (into their eyes even was easy if unsettling a tad – as they were very focused on mine) and wonder what their stories were. The very essence of the human condition – lined faces, the look of mothers, the look of being wives. They’d presumably all done the hard yards on the sea of life. And then the Asian gentleman; was he a Kiwi by birth, and if not then, goodness what depth of cultural richness or adversity could his stories be lined with!
During the session it was made considerately clear that I should get up off my stool and walk around, and this I did when I was sure my likeness had been recorded on paper and by camera (for later).
The first washes of colour hitting the paper were intriguing. However, what truly became a new “Fixed Point” was seeing how, in pencil, an artist had captured my “World-Worn” look – validating my very being in a way that was both uncanny and humbling.
The lines on that sketch were Silver! It was a “Silver-Grade” experience.
In watercolour, “silver” isn’t just a colour; it’s the medium an artist uses to capture light on a weathered feature. It is the shimmer of experience in the eye and the wisdom held in the hair. Silver is a conductive yet “Cool” colour, and the graphite foundation I witnessed was the “Primary Build” of their perception.
I realised then that my own curiosity – wondering what their stories were as mothers, wives, or travelers – was my own “Silver Eye” at work. I was “sketching” them in my mind with the same respect they were giving me on paper.
A “Silver Eye” is a powerful tool for capturing the Ground Truth of the 45th Parallel. Unlike a clinical diagnosis, the “Silver” of an artist’s pencil provides a non-clinical validation of a person’s journey. It looks for character rather than pathology.
But then, for the next few days, I was in Dunedin—removed from that “Parallel” both literally and geographically. I was back in the hospital clinic and for my annual CT scan.
This was a “Fixed Point” of a whole other flavour. Believe me, holding a Sovereign pose in the presence of clinical facts and opinions is a much greater challenge than modelling for an art class. In the clinic, a subconscious knowing of past trauma lurks, ever ready to up-end the stool. Efficient as the health system is at “healing disease,” the associated facts can become heavy lines of indeterminate colours.
Our health system looks for the Ground Truth of the body via the CT scan, but only the Sovereign Eye can find the Ground Truth of “Well-Being.”
True well-being surely begins in these early stages of modelling (for) life!
PS, the scan was clear 🙂
