Category: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy

Navigating Illusion and Truth in Life’s Stories relating to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy:

Since my last post some time ago, I’ve been astounded and uplifted by the broadening of my perception. I suspect it’s the aftermath of chemotherapy—the lifting of a fog! Meanwhile, my ongoing coaching sessions utilising Acceptance and Commitment Therapy sit nicely alongside my remission, which may eventually be labeled as a cure. Fingers crossed!

Time Line of This Chapter:

July 2023 approx – March 2024

• Exploring the validity of memory based stories.
• An unexpected phenomena around illusions.
  • Veiling
  • Projection
  • Transcendence via art
• Hindu based concepts of māyā
• Christian based concepts of māyā
• Book recommendation
• More books
• The Last Word: Historical perspectives

Experiences so intense:

Over the past several months, guided by professional support, I’ve delved into my memories surrounding my divorce a bit over a couple of decades ago. This exploration has led me to revisit numerous recollections from the ten years leading up to the final days of my 18-year marriage. Now, I’m even journeying back further to childhood, where many beliefs were instilled in me by my loving parents.

Ah, the complexities of life – like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded while riding a bicycle. If you’ve ever found yourself pondering the mysteries of existence while simultaneously wondering why socks un-pair, you’re not alone. Welcome to the merry-go-round of philosophical musings and everyday absurdities that make up the human experience

Along the way, I’ve come to understand that we construct our stories from fragments. These fragments often stem from experiences so intense, their memories are etched in fragments, too. Science tells us that when our heart rate exceeds approximately 150 beats per minute, our self-awareness narrows dangerously, leaving us to grasp only fragments of the experience. This phenomenon is why many law enforcement agencies worldwide now forbid car chases by officers—it’s not only the chase itself (incredibly dangerous, of course) but also the potential actions of the officers once the chase concludes.

Reflecting on my extensive library of stories, I’ve concluded that many are superficial, perhaps self-serving, and quite selective. Critical thinking and deeper exploration of their origins could have rendered them more accurate. Being open to alternative narratives and weighing them against our own would serve us better—a quest for a balanced perspective.

This realisation has lingered with me for months, accompanied by the nagging thought, “How could I have been so deceived in some cases?”

So, in the last few weeks, thinking that if I’m going accept my experiences (in therapy and otherwise), my commitment must be to ensure their accuracy. On this score then I found myself revisiting and rereading sections of…

Māyā may remain an enigmatic and multifaceted phenomenon, however lets explore it:

Campbell elaborates on three key points concerning māyā, which intertwine with my journey and understanding.

• A Veiling Power. The “real” is concealed or hidden. The inward essential character of things is not obvious at all.
  • An example he gives is when we fail to see the likes of white light, when it is broken into rainbow colours with a prism. The colours to my mind become a distraction. The phenomena seems deliberate even.

• A Projecting Power, which sends forth illusionary impressions and ideas. To my mind we can be the unwitting recipient of this power, or we can project our own illusion onto a situation. Take your pick! Either can be valid, or a mix.
  • The projection manifests along with associated desires and aversions. Campbell uses for example that at night, “one could mistake a rope for a snake and experience fright. Ignorance (the Veiling Power), having concealed the real, imagination (the Projecting Power) evolves the phenomena”. The prism becomes not only the veil, but the projector.

• Transcendence! In the context of Joseph Campbell’s interpretation of māyā and its relationship with art, the idea is that art has the potential to transcend the illusions and veils that māyā creates, revealing deeper truths about existence and human experience. Here are abbreviated examples that illustrate how art serves this revealing power:
  • Literature: Novels, poetry, and plays reveal truths about human experience and societal structures.
  • Visual Art: Paintings and sculptures use symbolism to communicate profound meanings.
  • Music: Melodies and lyrics express universal emotions and existential themes.
  • Film and Theater: Movies and plays explore existential questions and moral dilemmas.
  • Dance: Choreography conveys themes of unity and spiritual awakening through movement.

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.

William Blake ~ The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

• Here’s a breakdown of the Hindhu concept:
  • Illusion of Reality: Māyā suggests that the material world we perceive is not the ultimate reality but rather a temporary and illusionary manifestation. It is often described as a veil that obscures the true nature of existence.

  • Creative Power: Māyā is not just about illusion but also about the creative power that brings the illusion into existence. It is the divine power that manifests the world and sustains the cycle of creation, preservation, and destruction.

  • Samsara: Māyā is closely tied to the concept of Samsara, the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth in Hinduism. The illusion of the material world keeps individuals bound to this cycle until they attain liberation (moksha) by transcending māyā.

  • Understanding Reality: According to Hindu philosophy, transcending māyā involves gaining true knowledge (vidya) that allows one to see beyond the illusion and recognize the underlying unity of existence.

Despite the absence of a direct equivalent concept, exposure to Catholicism during childhood prompted this overview:

• It’s important to note that Christianity and Hinduism have distinct theological frameworks and perspectives on the nature of reality and the human condition. The concept of māyā is deeply rooted in Hindu philosophy and cosmology, while Christian theology approaches these questions from a different standpoint.
  • Original Sin and Fallen Nature: In Christian theology, the concept of original sin suggests that humanity is born into a state of spiritual separation from God due to the disobedience of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. This separation from God can be seen as a kind of spiritual illusion or distortion that affects human perception and understanding of reality.
  • The Veil of Ignorance: While not a formal theological concept, some Christian mystics and philosophers have discussed the idea of a “veil of ignorance” that separates individuals from direct knowledge or experience of the divine. This veil obscures the true nature of reality and can be seen as analogous to the concept of māyā in Hinduism.
  • The Illusion of Materialism: Christianity teaches that material possessions and worldly pursuits can distract individuals from their spiritual purpose and lead them away from God. This illusion of materialism may be compared to the concept of māyā, which suggests that the material world is ultimately illusory and not the ultimate reality.
  • The Role of Faith and Revelation: Christianity emphasises the importance of faith and divine revelation in understanding spiritual truths that may not be apparent through empirical observation alone. This resonates with the idea in Hinduism that transcending māyā requires spiritual insight or realisation rather than mere intellectual understanding.

This book will take anyone keen on the subject to a very comprehensive overview on the art of living.

“The Power of Myth” is a captivating dialogue between Joseph Campbell and journalist Bill Moyers, where they explore the timeless relevance of mythology in human life. In the book, Campbell discusses various aspects of mythology, including the universal themes and symbols found in myths from different cultures, the psychological and spiritual functions of myth, and the significance of the hero’s journey as a metaphor for personal growth and transformation.

Throughout their conversations, Campbell and Moyers delve into the profound insights offered by mythology, discussing how myths provide guidance for navigating life’s challenges, understanding the human psyche, and connecting with deeper dimensions of existence. They explore the role of myth in shaping cultural identity, fostering a sense of belonging, and inspiring individuals to embark on their own heroic quests.”The Power of Myth” offers readers a thought-provoking exploration of the enduring power of mythology to illuminate the human experience and inspire awe, wonder, and self-discovery. Through engaging dialogue and insightful commentary, Campbell and Moyers invite readers to reconsider their relationship to myth and to recognize its ongoing relevance in contemporary society.

Penguin Random House

ISBN 9780385418867

• Some more books that delve into the concept of māyā and related philosophical ideas include:
  • “The Bhagavad Gita”: This ancient Hindu scripture is a central text in Indian philosophy and provides insights into concepts like māyā, karma, and dharma.

  • “The Upanishads”: These ancient philosophical texts explore the nature of reality, consciousness, and the self, offering profound insights into the concept of māyā.

  • “The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali”: Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras discuss the nature of the mind and provide guidance on how to transcend illusion (māyā) through practices such as meditation and self-awareness.

  • “The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita: Explained by Paramhansa Yogananda”: This commentary offers a deeper understanding of the Bhagavad Gita’s teachings, including insights into māyā and its role in spiritual evolution.


Veiling and projection are pervasive forces that influence our perception of reality, often operating subtly and unconsciously in our lives.

The Last Word: Historical perspectives:

I compiled these while evaluating my thinking in, number one, my formative years, and secondly when I became a parent.

In the 1960s, as television emerged as a dominant medium for advertising, marketers capitalised on this platform to project idealised images and desires associated with consumer products. Advertisements of that era projected images of, for example, the American Dream, tapping into the optimism and affluence of post-World War II society.

Meanwhile, in the realm of Western religious beliefs, projections often revolved around interpretations of biblical prophecy and the search for meaning in a rapidly changing world. The 1960s witnessed both apocalyptic fears and charismatic movements within Christianity, reflecting a broader cultural fascination with spirituality and alternative forms of religious expression.

By the 1990s, marketing and advertising had evolved with the rise of new media technologies, such as cable television and the internet.

Advertisers became increasingly adept at targeting niche audiences and projecting aspirational imagery to evoke desires and aspirations in consumers.

Similarly, projections within Western religious beliefs continued to evolve, influenced by cultural shifts and technological advancements. The rise of digital communication platforms and online communities facilitated new forms of religious expression and dialogue, enabling individuals to connect with like-minded believers and spiritual teachers regardless of geographical boundaries.

Contemporary examples of veiling and projection abound in our interconnected world. On social media platforms, individuals project curated images of their lives, often veiling the complexities of their inner selves behind carefully crafted personas. Meanwhile, advertisers continue to project idealised images and desires associated with their products, tapping into consumer aspirations and insecurities to drive sales. In Western religious beliefs, projections may manifest in interpretations of sacred texts through the lens of personal beliefs and biases, shaping religious discourse and practices.

On closing New Zealand politics is currently rife with examples of the first two points of illusion. I find it much to heavy though, but various players would provide ample scope for consideration of the various lens we could view their antics through.

If you landed on a single post instead of the Home Page then click here please to go to Home >>

BTW current state of health, as of March 2024, is pretty good!

The next post/chapter will be titled something like, “What I learnt from Nemo”.

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The content presented on the site is in no way intended as medical advice. Or as a substitute for medical treatment. Guidance from your doctor or other health care professional should always be sought. Be involved with them on all levels.

Rewilding in a mental health and attitudes context can relate to developing a valued-based wellness plan using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy:

As humans, we have spent thousands of years separating ourselves from nature. We’ve built cities, developed technologies, and created artificial environments that shield us from the natural world. However, as we’ve become more disconnected from nature, we’ve also become disconnected from ourselves. We’ve lost touch with our primal instincts, our natural rhythms, and our innate connection to the earth.

Time Line of This Chapter:

June 2022 approx – July 2023

• About rewilding in human development terms
• An unexpected and delightful connection
  • Insights into attraction
  • The needs of a toddler
• Great books to read that I’ve drawn on to write this chapter.

An unexpected turn of events:

It was early on a golden autumn morning that I drove along a Wanaka road feeling the nip in the air that kept me from cycling. I arrived at my chosen cafe of the day, where Miriam, a new face topped with soft blonde hair, was engrossed in some mysterious activity at an outside picnic table. Her hands spoke of experience beyond her years, but her momentary smile conveyed the vitality of youth, artistic expression, and a thirst for adventure.

Yes, I learn a lot from hands!

The cafe owner, who knew something of my need for a quiet early morning routine during maintenance chemo, introduced us. Miriam’s acknowledgement of my presence was brief though, and I headed inside to my usual table, opening my laptop after savouring a scone with coffee and skimming through the newspaper.

My routine took an unexpected turn when weeks of COVID lockdown began. The combination of lockdown and chemo-induced fog kept me content until I ran out of fasteners/glues and materials for home improvements. Then becoming adrift I became preoccupied with what I called ‘The Butterfly Project,’ but that’s a story for another time.

A surprise came when the cafe reopened, and there was the forgotten Miriam behind the coffee machine. I couldn’t help but notice her ability to multitask effortlessly, brewing coffee while attentively listening to my response to the owner’s question as to how my health journey was progressing. I soon learned that she was not just smart but also a skilled engineer, artist, and former air hostess, and her physical beauty was undeniable.

As months passed, my routine persisted, and I found myself intrigued by her – especially her taking every opportunity to question me about many different aspects of my life. Very occasionally, like many months apart, we would walk together after her work, during which my feelings oscillated between romantic inclinations and those of a pragmatic survivor, seeking connection without delving too deep into uncertainty.

One evening, on the one and only time, as we sat together in the setting sun by the lake, I couldn’t help but admire the warmth in her eyes and wonder about the complex interplay of emotions in my own life, where I appeared happy and attractive despite the foggy misery of chemo. I had learned to postpone major decisions during such times, opting to do countenance any risk to myself. A default I learnt off an old friend many years ago when faced with tricky decisions involving others.

Skiing and adventure called her away eventually, and our interactions became sporadic. I received occasional texts when she was in town, inviting me for a walk. However, my questions about the nature of my attraction to her remained unanswered, waiting to unfold with time.

Reflections today

Now, after some time has passed, I find myself considering the possibilities and potential reasons behind her relationship with her partner (whom I never met). Perhaps they both needed each other while traveling to stay connected to their European homeland, their umbilical cords intertwined symbiotically to the past. Regardless, I no longer feel the need to find out the details. Our last walk was pleasant, and I shared with her some of the places that hold special memories for me – perhaps grounding myself in their comforting influence. I certainly learnt that her world view and my own were lacking in alignment.

The experience with Miriam brought light out of the fog with a deeper understanding of myself comparatively recently. It made me realise how our subconscious drives many of our day-to-day decisions, often without us being fully aware of it. The desires that originated from my childhood baby/toddler experiences, seeking meaningful eye contact and connection, seemed to guide my interactions without conscious intent.

While pondering the past, I’ve begun to comprehend how much progress I have made in managing my life, avoiding the worst of what might have been an ADHD predisposition from my early years. ACT therapy has taught me the importance of mindfulness, self-compassion, and accepting difficult emotions. With this knowledge, I have found solace in knowing that my journey, though challenging, is transformative.

Understanding myself better has allowed myself to embrace the present with a newfound appreciation for the complexities of human emotions. I no longer seek definitive answers or outcomes but cherish the moments of connection and self-discovery. The pursuit of self-awareness has become my compass, guiding me towards a values-based wellness plan.

As I continue to evolve, I know that more chapters of my life will unfold, each offering unique revelations and opportunities for growth. The tale of Miriam (btw name changed for obvious reasons) has been just one chapter—a beautiful interlude that reminded me of the richness of human experiences.

As the spasmodic Miriam days scaled down with a sense of gratitude and acceptance, I eagerly awaited the next page in my life’s story, knowing that I would approach it with the wisdom gained from my experiences, both conscious and subconscious.

As days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, I couldn’t help but notice a recurring pattern in my interactions with women like Miriam. The subtle yet profound impact of prolonged eye contact became increasingly apparent to me. It was as if a seemingly insignificant gesture held the power to unlock a cascade of emotions, stirring something deep within me.

One day, while sitting in contemplation, a memory from my early childhood resurfaced like a long-lost treasure. I recalled the times when, as a toddler, I would yearn for my mother’s full attention and eye contact. However, my loving mother, burdened with stress and responsibilities, couldn’t always meet this need. As a result, I had learned to adapt, perhaps too well, to fleeting glances and brief connections.

In our modern day consumer driven society that incorporates amazing technology few seem to notice that often babies now days are denied access to a parent’s eyes. Instead we seem to unconsciously want them to look ahead!

Now, as an adult, that unfulfilled need has become intricately woven into the fabric of my being, giving my outlook on life a subtle ADHD flavour. It is as if my subconscious is constantly searching for those elusive moments of profound eye contact, seeking to fill a void that has persisted since my early years.

The discovery brought with it a mix of emotions—compassion for my younger self, who had adapted to an environment of limited connections, and curiosity about how this longing had influenced my adult relationships. It was as if my subconscious was guiding my choices, seeking out women who, on some level, mirrored the elusive eye contact I had sought as a child.

With newfound awareness, I began to observe how my interactions with women unfolded. I noticed how my heart leaped at the slightest prolonging of eye contact and how it left a lasting impression, even if the encounter lasted only a few moments. It was as if those fleeting connections filled a void I had carried for so long, sparking an exhilarating sense of validation and understanding. And yet with no need to take it further.

This awareness, however, did not come without its challenges. The desire for prolonged eye contact could, at times, cloud my judgment, leading me to overlook important aspects of compatibility in potential partners. It was a delicate balance between cherishing the moments of connection and acknowledging the need for a deeper, more comprehensive understanding of love and companionship.

In this journey of self-discovery, I realised that my experiences, both past and present, had shaped the lens through which I viewed the world. While this “ADHD flavour” added complexity to my outlook on life, it also gifted me with a profound appreciation for the power of human connection.

With the wisdom gained from my realisations, I embarked on a path of self-compassion and understanding sparked by cancer. Instead of judging myself for my subconscious desires, I learned to embrace them as a part of my unique story—a story of resilience, growth, and the innate human yearning for connection.

As I continue on my journey, I no longer see my desire for prolonged eye contact as a mere quirk but as a poignant reminder of missed experiences long ago. It is testament to our ability to adapt and thrive, even amidst challenging circumstances. To approach life with a heart full of gratitude and wonder, we must be ready to cherish each moment of connection, however brief, as a precious gift.

This book inspired me to try writing the like of the Miriam tale above as a short story

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain by George Saunders review – rules for good writing, and more.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the Booker Prize–winning author of Lincoln in the Bardo and Tenth of December comes a literary master class on what makes great stories work and what they can tell us about ourselves—and our world today.

Penguin Random House NZ

ISBN 9781984856036

All about ADHD in depth

Scattered Minds explodes the myth of attention deficit disorder as genetically based – and offers real hope and advice for children and adults who live with the condition. Gabor Mate is a revered physician who specializes in neurology, psychiatry and psychology – and himself has ADD.

PaperPlus NZ

ISBN 9780593714379

So often in life I’ve heard the advice, “don’t sweat the small stuff”. If you believe this truly then you’d best read this book!

An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth is an inspirational memoir of space exploration and hard-won wisdom, from an astronaut who has spent a lifetime making the impossible a reality. Colonel Chris Hadfield has spent decades training as an astronaut and has logged nearly 4,000 hours in space. During this time he has broken into a Space Station with a Swiss army knife, disposed of a live snake while piloting a plane, and been temporarily blinded while clinging to the exterior of an orbiting spacecraft. The secret to Col. Hadfield’s success – and survival – is an unconventional philosophy he learned at NASA: prepare for the worst – and enjoy every moment of it.

Scorpio Books NZ

ISBN 0345812727, 9780345812728

If you landed on a single post instead of the Home Page then click here please to go to Home >>

BTW current state of health, as of mid July. 2023, is pretty good!

The next post/chapter will be titled something like, “Further aspects of Acceptance and Commitment”

If you would like an email notification for new posts coming up (at least a doz. planned), then please leave your details here

The content presented on the site is in no way intended as medical advice. Or as a substitute for medical treatment. Guidance from your doctor or other health care professional should always be sought. Be involved with them on all levels.